I’m just tangled up in Blue
In the sweet mood when pleasures love to pay I would reflect on the day Blue came into my life. Our first moments together were ones of connection and attachment, a sequential start you may say, but I can only describe him as a wonderful companion, quiet, obedient, watchful and patient but also full of fun. Every part of Blue’s body was a gymnast and made to conquer space. Whether at work or play we were inseparable. He was a devoted companion and we quickly became habitant of the same wonderings, we were just one worlds way. He taught me so much about animal behaviour just by observing him.
In a joy past power of words I think of all those wonderful memories that came unbidden to my mind and happily remember the day we followed a little path where its margins were still damp with the morning dew, a morning that felt fresh-minted. As Blue searched unbridled through the bush tangles he spotted a hare feeding on a good source of tender grasses and other toothsome delights. The cunning creature’s ears struck like lightening and Blue was all in a spin but the hare was swift by stealth, too supple in his movements to be caught, and with the lift of Blue’s shifting feet gave voice with a sharp staccato bark and with triumphant splendour he gave chase across the stubble field, but the hare was dedicated to living and disappeared through a hedge. After a few brief moments Blue turned and made his way back to my side, never straying, he was always just a gazer’s eye away.
When tired of all his fun Blue would rest and take his ease in the noonday sun. As I watched him dreaming his limbs all a-tremble, his nose and whiskers twitching and with a low whimpering voice, he made me smile as I wondered, was Blue chasing hares or were disturbing images of rioters galloping through his dreams? I’ll never know, but what a pleasure, so many happy memories to treasure.
On many of our caravan holidays, we would often visit the beautiful valley of Beddgelert in the heart of Snowdonia. There is a peace and silence here like a rural blanket, a place that looks swept and garnished for a coming festival and where in the distance the voice of waterfalls can be heard. This delightful place has everything we love, walks, water, steam trains with their beating hearts and beautiful mountainous scenery, and Blue loved it too.
After a long walk along the Aberglaslyn pass we approached the style-gate that takes us over the narrow footbridge back into Beddgelert. Blue suddenly halted with his observing eyes and his attentive ears and blocked our path; he knew that there was danger ahead, for there harnessing the warmth from the sun was an adder with diamond zig-zag patterns on its tessellated coiled body and short broad head hissing like steam escaping from a safety valve. Blue gave voice and with several nymph-like steps sprang aside, alerting every one of its presence. The snake then slithered up the rest of the steps and passed across in front of us to disappear in the grass on the other side of the path. As we continued on our journey our footfalls became heavier to alert any more basking snakes of our presence and little Blue proudly flitted along like a deer.
Whether beneath the bower of a shady tree or under the broad blue lift of sky when the stars are mellow and large at the coming of night, Blue was always at my side. His adventures are too many to mention, they could fill the pages of any book and these wonderful memories hang like bunting in my mind. However, the next few lines come hard on me and I have no rest or peace of it.
The voice of my heart has left me; I am bereft at losing Blue. There are no footsteps running through an open meadow for these pleasures I have none, but as I wander all night in my vision I have felt a presence that disturbs me with the joy of elevated thoughts…… what if Blue was left behind instead, now my grief has meaning, now I have a way to carry it. But in gentleness of heart and touch I feel his spirit all around me like dust in a breeze wherever I dwell. When the hazy darkness deepens I may hear but cannot see, a lovely sound could be heard and it echoes in the deep chambers of my mind like a wind whisper. In my concussed fog I call his name, but like the disappearing dreams of yesterday I know I must go on.
Blue was a huge part of my life for fourteen happy years, for these special places we would dwell evoke a sense of where I’m meant to be and it helps me to recognise and appreciate the poignant beauty to be found here. Nothing lasts forever but it also helps to remove the need for hoarding possessions, chasing worldly wealth and holding onto ephemera but more than words, my feelings for little Blue are deep enough to swim in and I’ll always be ‘just tangled up in Blue’.
